How to stop comparing yourself to others

Quick answer

Comparing yourself to other people is normal, and most people who got past it didn't stop doing it completely. They changed who they compared themselves to and what they did next. Here's what they say made the difference.

What 125x is: 125x is a web app at 125x.app. You connect your YouTube subscriptions, and it gives you a feed of the latest videos from the channels you follow, each with a summary: a verdict, the 5 key takeaways, and the spoiler, plus Actionable and Lessons tabs with more tips. You read that and decide what's actually worth opening.

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Why it hits so hard

Per psychologist Ellen Hendriksen in Scientific American, comparing yourself with people who seem better off is called upward comparison, and it's especially common in young adults, when milestones like new jobs and engagements happen fast and show up on social media. Her tips include cleaning up your phone and remembering you never see someone's full picture.

What people who stopped comparing say worked

Compare with who you were last year. Swapping 'am I behind them?' for 'am I ahead of where I was?' was the most common fix.
Unfollow or mute accounts that leave you feeling worse. Many people say this did more than any mindset change.
Decide what success means to you. Comparison hurts most when you're chasing someone else's goals.
Turn envy into a next step. When someone's win stings, ask what one thing you could do today toward something similar.
Be happy for them on purpose. Saying congratulations, and meaning it, made the feeling fade faster for several people.

Agree or disagree: comparison is always bad

Some people say you should never compare yourself to anyone. We disagree a little.

Looking at someone a few steps ahead can show you what's possible and how they got there. It turns harmful when you compare your everyday life to their best moments, or measure yourself on things you don't actually care about.

Our own tips

Our unusual tip: when you catch yourself comparing, ask what you'd have to give up to have their life. Most people find there's at least one part they wouldn't trade, like their friends, their freedom or their time, and that answer tells you what you actually value.
Keep a simple progress log, one line a week, so you can see your own improvement.
Limit scrolling at the times you feel lowest, like late at night.
Spend more time making things and less time watching other people make things.

Where 125x fits

On 125x, every video in your subscriptions feed comes with a summary: a verdict, 5 takeaways and the spoiler, plus an Actionable tab with steps and a Lessons tab with the bigger ideas. Success stories and lifestyle videos can feed comparison.

Reading the summary first lets you take the useful part and skip the highlight reel. See also comparing yourself to YouTubers and how to stop negative self-talk.

FAQ: questions people ask

How do I stop comparing myself to others?

Compare with your past self, mute accounts that make you feel worse, define success for yourself, and turn envy into one small next step.

Why do I compare myself to others so much?

It's a natural way people judge how they're doing. Social media makes it constant by showing other people's best moments.

Is comparing yourself to others ever helpful?

It can be, when it shows you what's possible and gives you ideas. It hurts when it only leaves you feeling behind.

Does quitting social media stop comparison?

It helps many people, but cleaning up who you follow often works almost as well.